Change is Difficult
I have always known that I am a creature of habit. I like my routines and when my surroundings feel familiar. I have always struggled with change and get very anxious about it. Whether it’s moving to a different state, starting a new job, or teaching a new course. It is always hard to embrace it, but I also feel like I need to give my 110% in whatever I do. The change that is always the hardest for me is the change that I cannot control or have minimal as in.
A recent change that I was very skeptical about what the change over in administration at my school. Last year, our administration was asked to leave at the end of the year which meant there was going to be a turn over in our main office. This was hard for me since I started my teaching career with this administration. They were the ones who took a chance on a fist year teacher. I will admit that I had some issues in which they ran the school, but no administration is perfect. I had never experienced a change in principals in my career yet, so this one was sure to be a doozy.
I vividly remember being in an interview with the new principal candidates with the rest of the staff and finding two individuals that I personally really enjoyed. Within the next few days, there was talk at school on who each other liked and tried to predict who would be our new co-principals. When the announcement came out, I quickly opened the email and noticed the two that were hired were the other two candidates who were not my first choice. This was a really hard pill to swallow because I could not envision them at our school. This caused me to have a lot of anxiety about the changes that would happen over the summer.
To say I was anxious when I walked in for our first I service day is an understatement. I stood back and watched the new administrations interactions and tried to get a feel on who they are as people. I was also nervous because our student schedules were not yet finalized. I will never forget when my first conversation with one of the new principals was him telling me that instead of teaching Algebra 1, that I had prepped for all summer, I would be teaching Algebra 2 for juniors and seniors, which I do not have a current certification for. I then had to navigate how to get a provisional license and content map a course that I have not taught or been in since my sophomore year of high school when I took it. This sent me into a tail spin, but the difference between the old administrations and the new one is that they have supported me throughout the journey. They helped me find support to teach the class as well as came to my room when every I needed support with student behaviors. They listened to my concerns and helped cut down the class size as well as support me in any decision I made within my classroom. When I finally noticed this, my perspective on the new administration started to change.
I then found that I was going and talking to administration and the front office staff daily to just check in or chat about students or course work. I found that I was often someone that the admin would ask about old processes in order to try and navigate the change they wanted. I also noticed that this new administration was on the same page as me in how I envision a school running, from universal design of learning to restorative practices. I have watched them hit some walls with trying to initiate change without feeling like they are overhauling the whole system. This made me think of Michael Fullers quote from his next steps video where he said, “leadership is crucial but complicated”. I cannot imagine the anxiety from the changes they were experiencing with starting a new leadership position as well as trying to implement progressive changes in a very traditional setting. My anxiety about many of these changes has been lessened throughout the school year as I have grown to appreciate the new leadership as well as place trust in them that change will happen for the betterment of the students. We really needed this leadership to enter our building, but their journey has been nothing but easy, and I commend them for the grace and professionalism that they have done it in.
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